This morning she’s marked her students’ books, done the washing, baked two cakes, played guitar at church and got the toys out for the grandchildren.
Red-hair frizzing from the heat in her busy kitchen, she produces another feast for her adults.
Chatter from the dinning-room is like a tidal wave; renowned for drowning out most people. But by the time it reaches the kitchen it splashes gently at her feet.
After carrying in the final dish, she perches on a stool.
Around a table as long as time, many gather to weave.
At one end, wooden spools clatter as red, white and blue threads are unwound. Nimble hands weave with skill and patience, uniting many strands into one design.
Work continues along the table, from fine embroidery to
industrial machines.
Red dye is spilt, ruining the design. With help they patch it up, but a little further down the table, the patch is cut away leaving a hole. The threads become unravelled.
By rights each person pulls one. But no-one can decide on the next design, each wants their own way.
Landing on emerald blades, that stretch on
forever, Molly inhales the smell of fresh-cut grass and well-tendered Forms.
The fragrance releases something in the centre of Molly’s light and her
shoulders relax. Twisting the kinks out her neck, from a day lent over her
desk, Molly feels the pinch of her hair still trapped in a bun.
Tugging it loose, she allows her dark curls to
tumble passed her shoulders. Then checking no one is nearby, she slips off her
sandals and tiptoes onto the green carpet. Her light feet make no dent on the
hard-emerald blades. In this moment she remembers her first feel of the Form of
Grass, thirty-thousand years ago.
Breathing deeply, she lets out her breath and
in the same moment stretches her legs forward, her arms out and her wings
up. Spinning round she delights in the
cool air flowing over, under and round her as she whirls and leaps.
Normally, her light would empty itself of the
minutiae of mortal life and fill with the Long-Blue, Night-Stage and the Forever-Sunrise.
But this time her light fills with the memory of a figure dancing across the
grass. Lucie Morning Star, the brightest of all creation beckons her on,
wanting to show her the way. But Molly wasn’t
made to follow the brightest Star and now she stumbles at the memory.
Thirty-thousand years ago, Molly thought she could
follow Lucie. Lucie who rose high above all creation on Night-Stage. But Lucie
fell. She fell into the Wild, never to return. A wave of loss and fear, washes
over Molly’s light when she remembers that moment. But she shoves the memory
away, reminding herself she couldn’t have done differently. Lumini are what
they are made to be, only mortals have choices.
Messy and chaotic choices that need ordering.
Slowing her pace, Molly walks into the Garden
of Forms. Where everything that was or is or will be is grown. Molly remembers
her first time here as well. She’d just run away from Lucie and her brutal
words. Thirty-thousand years ago, among the Form of all things Molly had
stopped and seen Everything, and Everything had a place, and Everything was in
its place. She’d found peace in that order, knowing things that are made cannot
choose to be anything else.
Reaching the Always-Orchard, Molly furls her
shining wings and wanders among the ancient Form of trees. Her eyes drink in
the many shades of Brown and Green, and her smooth fingers caress the rough
bark of Oak and the silky skin of Birch.
The Form of every bird tweets, chirps and coos in the branches of the
trees, flitting and flying and soaring high in the Edge of the Light. The slow pace of the trees, their whispered
mutterings and the sense of time standing still calms the fire in Molly’s
light.
But something still feels out of place, and
Molly worries that it’s her. That there is a shadow, at her light, an
uncertainty that will smoother the light of Everything around her.
Walking along a rocky path, you pass between two mountains,
protected from the world. But between one step and the next the walls disappear.
There’s a thousand foot drop on both sides, the wind is strong, and the world below
is spinning.
Ever seen the bones of your house, the skin of plaster
ripped away, the wooden muscle torn down? The red brick heart is only inches
below the surface.
Once your home stood on solid rock but now you know it could
crumble any second.
A black Discovery swings through the narrow
stone pillars, into the restricted off-street car-park. The privileged driver steps
out in leopard print heels, perfect rouge lipstick and a black faux-fur coat. Clacking
up the steps, a designer bag hanging from her elbow, she glances at the hoi polloi.
A woman stands at the parking metre, dressed in a blue hoodie, jeans, running trainers, a woolly hat, no make-up and is carrying an unnamed canvas satchel.
Each shivers at the thought of what the other is wearing. Smirking in the comfort of their own clothes, they both turn and carry on.
Surrounded by people too fit to be at the gym, her squishy parts squirm.
She still comes, mostly to rant with her friend about life. A bi-weekly entertainment (or annoyance) for the few that don’t wear headphones or yell loudly when swinging kettle bells.
“I’ll get the gym ball,” says the friend. But slipping from her hands, it bounces into the man bench pressing her weight. His mates laugh, drowning out the swearing coming from the treadmill.
Apologising, her friend retrieves the ball but then lying
across it dives head first at the rowing machine.
Perching on a green road sign, a shadow-black crow observes
the passing cars. The sign gives them the choice to go straight, turn right or stop.
The drivers choose which tarmac path to take.
There are red cars, blue cars, black cars and silver cars.
There are absurdly big cars and little cars, wide cars and tall cars, many
seated cars, sleek cars, muscle cars, practical cars, lorries, cranes and
tractors. All pass under the beady eye
of the crow.
All pass the green sign telling them where they can go.
But then stretching out her wings, she flies away.
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